A Mindful Love Affair

3 minute read

Have you ever wanted to have an affair? Bold question I know. Now, I’m not talking about the guy who you feel that you have a connection with and tells you what you need to hear. I’m not talking about the girl at work who when she looks at you, takes your breath away.

The love affair I speak of is a person who can give you that feeling of excitement, passion, love and tenderness. The person who, if you choose to embark on a love affair with them, won’t cause any hurt to anyone. An affair that never has to come to an end. The person who you can wake up with and drift off to sleep with. The person you see in the mirror each morning.

Yes, I’m talking about a love affair with yourself.

“To love oneself, is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”

Oscar Wilde

Mindfulness can help us to connect to ourselves at a deeper level, to realise what it is we need and to see that many of those answers lie within ourselves. Inspired by the writing of the wonderful Julia Cameron in her book ‘The Artists Way’, here are some fun mindful ideas to begin that passionate love affair with yourself.

1.Steal time away during the day. Take a few moments throughout the day to connect to yourself. Notice your breath, the movement of your body as you inhale and exhale. Relax your shoulders and soften your jaw, releasing any tension. Find that place of calm that exists within you. Listen to your emotions, with compassion, how are you feeling in this moment?

2.Write love notes. Leave love notes to yourself around the house, in your bag, on the fridge, places that you will forget and see them perhaps when you most need them! These could be reminders of words to motivate you, inspire you, feel loved. Write words that are meaningful to you, but they must always be words of encouragement, positive words that will make you smile. You could even write words that others have said to you, that give you that warm feeling inside. A beautiful reminder that you are special and loved.

3.Dream about your future together. Write long, flowing love letters to yourself about your future dreams. What are your wishes, your desires, places you would love to go to, feelings you would love to experience? Let your subconscious thoughts guide the pen and see where it takes you. This isn’t a practical coaching, how exactly are you going to achieve this letter. This is a dream letter; it can be anything you dream of.  

4.Go on a date. Take yourself out, just you, no-one else. Do something you love to do. You do not need to please anyone else, except yourself. Where would you like to go? Do something that fuels your passions, whatever that means for you, whether it’s a run, a walk, a visit to an art gallery, eat the biggest doughnut at a bakery, look around a motorbike shop. What do you love? 

5.Say I love you. In Shauna Shapiro’s beautiful book ‘Good Morning I love You’ she recommends that as you wake each morning you say to yourself, “Good Morning I love you.” Start the day with a heart full of love and appreciation for yourself. This may take practice, but in time, this can be a transformational act of kindness to yourself.


When we take time out to connect to ourselves, we can nurture ourselves from within. We can find our inner compassion and love. We can realise our hopes and dreams. We can experience the elation when doing things that we love. I hope you find this a fun and thrilling adventure as you discover the passion within yourself.

Perhaps this could be the greatest love affair of your life. 

Sarah Giordano

Sarah is an Occupational Psychologist and Mindfulness Trainer providing mindfulness training to Individuals, School’s and Businesses; sweetening life’s sours with a squeeze of serenity.